the intersecting needs of christian childrens cartoons to make all biblical figures both painfully average looking white people and as un-sexualized as possible creates a hellish world where all of humanity is descended from 2 Jon Arbuckles
I’m gonna need a sketch concept of Garfield as the Snake on my desk by 5.
I may have to cleanse my computer after this act of sacrilege.
I may have to cleanse
my computer after this
act of sacrilege.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
first i.d: cartoon adam and eve in the garden of eden. adam looks just like a naked jon arbuckle, and eve looks just like a naked jon arbuckle with long hair covering her titties.
second i.d: a cartoon snake with garfield’s head and stripes. he’s saying “Eat the apple, Jon.” and thinking “This decision will undoubtedly lead to the invention of lasagna”
You were sure your girlfriend knew your secret identity, so you were happy to flirt with her both in and out of costume. But today she confessed to cheating on you. With you.
CAT showcasing equipment during an indoor demo for potential buyers
cat shelter for dads
RATING: Not Cute
this enclosure is too small for, and does not have enough enrichment. and forced to perform for audiences. its disgusting how these makestic creatures are being treated here
u gotta be hedonistic about vegetables. they’re not good boy food that u eat to prove you’re mature, they’re the food that you can shovel into your mouth at 5 am without getting nauseous
u gotta be hedonistic about books, they’re not good boy media that signifies being smart and learned, its art like anything else.
Any setting where the elves have weaker booze than the dwarves isn’t committing to the bit
I mean, we’re talking about people whose lifespan is Yes.
“Oh, the weak wine? That is for children. I am two thousand years old, and I daresay one sip from this highball would knock you on your ass for a week.”
Look, there’s this weird thing people do with high fantasy where they want elves to be immortal/extremely long-lived snooty aristocrats and also somehow incapacitated by imagining the taste of salt too hard. “Orcs and dwarves have the hardest booze” no they don’t, they have work in the morning! In any of these settings, elves would pregame harder than hobbits party and everyone else has shit to do tomorrow.
The average high elf builds up the drug tolerance of a mid-70s Hollywood producer and then spends three centuries studying alchemy. While humans seek immortality, the Immortals seek the elusive “philosopher’s cocaine.”
Elves leave the methanol in the booze on purpose. Oh, humans and dwarves get “drunk” and a “hangover”? Maybe you even “black out”? For what, an evening?
Meanwhile elvish alchemists are centuple-distilling deathmead (yes the brand is called Grond, yes the bottle looks like exactly like you imagine. It’s traditional to light the vapors on fire when you first uncork it.) and it’ll knock you into next decade.
We’re talking catatonic. State of living death for a few years. “The cheap flight to the astral plane,” if you will. Usually they’ll bury you in moss somewhere in the woods. Great fun when you finally wake up.
